Horror Story: When I Clerked For Barrett ...
Jeremy McLellan
When I clerked for Barrett she tried to adopt me twice against my will, called regular wine cis-substantiated, had a yellow phone with a secure line to the Vatican, and made me read all the memos out loud in Latin while facing away from her. Please Democrats, you must stop her.
And what would we do without the Babylon Bee?
Trump Fires Off Giant Pink Glitter Cannon To Reveal Gender Of SCOTUS Nominee
Trump suddenly appeared on the White House lawn and greeted all the gathered crowd with a wide beaming smile like that of an expectant father. “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen and Democrats and Fake News media! I am very happy, so very happy, I don't even remember the last time I was this happy, to announce the gender of our nominee to fill the seat!” he said.
The crowd erupted in joyous applause as the Secret Service rolled out a giant wheeled cannon similar to a civil war artillery piece and pulled the trigger to send an enormous cloud of pink glitter into the air.
“Of course it’s a girl! It’s a girl!” Trump said as he made an hourglass curve gesture with his hands. “Tremendous. Thank you very much!”